this is why i don't take naps

Carpinteria. the flowers. At michael's window. Bridget was sitting on me talking. I thought michael and all in the room would hear. into the chute. A lighter behind me. Under the spoon. Rock climbing. Hilda of sabrina. And chopped up bodies. meat packing an delivery. running from the law. kant. this father reading it and thinking why would i perforrm surgery on my self. kant was like junky. i kant. the mom. a cell phone call. i pick up and think its for me. suddenly i'm a child again. i think its susan calling to wish me happy brithday. some one explains its for dad. about the rolling pin. he looks at mom with flowers and tries to explain to her who these people are on the phone. i imagine the joy of having kids. having the whole world in the car with you on the way to vacation. disneyland. why was he messing it up by bringing in these other people. why couldn't i wait to have the joy myself. why did i want to know her suffering when i was s o young.