Even in my dreams I have the good sense to know that it will never happen, so why the fuck can't i get over him?

I was at PHS again. The band was practicing. It was getting dark and I was in Mr. Dirks room and Ms. Chui was the teacher. It wasn't high schoolers it was little kids. Ms. Chui left and she was like, I think you can handle them... I tried to start off the class but it kept on getting more wrong and more wrong. The class was all pushed way far back and the kids were uncomfortable but I told them I liked the space in front. Ms. Chui came back with an I-knew-this-would-happen look on her face and started passing out the papers I had been looking for. There were some girls emptying out their fridge in the front. It had all flooded with water and one of the girls was like "I'd try to save it but I hate it when my food has the consistency of soup. Then I was in the back of class with Mr. Dirks. There was a yellow paper and dirks was a fat old man. There wee installments of this crime we were watching. I think we were about to commit the crime. The installments were laid out and labelled like slides. Dennis was there and he told me to go outside. I saw Mr. Lambert in a blue and green hawaiian shirt teaching in the class across from dirks. I thought maybe this was a sign from that dream I'd had were dennis and I went to that class. Then I saw the band kids were leaving practice. julian came out and he looked around and then started running up this soccer field to me. There was a goal were the bungalow with the camera should have been. I didn't want to look like I had wanted to see him so I turned away. He looked at me. Like... I don't now but my heart nearly failed. He said, "I'm so glad I caught you. I agree. There was affection between us all summer." ( just for the record, this is not how I would dream it if I had a choice, I think the lameness of it and the way he limits affection to this summer are significant to the dream...) Then I realized that I was smiling and thought is this the right face? And he smiled back. And he turned around to go. And I said, "Wait, I have a question, If I'm permitted to ask questions: What happened that night then?" Then I realized that this was a dream and probably wouldn't be true when I woke up. Then the dream stopped burnt out but I didn't wake up yet. Somehow I thought to myself, see, is true.