ugh

My dreams of you are all filled with fear. Sex. Insecurity. 

It was a hotel

There were kids on a tour or in a group or something. We were in a room upstairs. For a moment the building was burning down. Or there was an alarm. I was going to have sex with you i think. I went downstairs. It was a bathroom. Dark. There were many sinks. Either I was hiding from you two upstairs or someone else. Its falling through my fingertips. i was wearing a dress. I felt beautiful at least. There was something to do, a test, maybe a plan to jump out that upstairs window.

I'm getting a vision of an alleyway. A party. The one from Kite Runner. Or my birthday that year we were in san diego. This may be seperate. Not even last night I think. Shit.

It wasn't rape. It was fear. I don't think, deep down inside. I want it. It could never...