Oh

I had one of those great nights last night were I caught myself starting to dream. I was thinking about something really great and nice and then I realized I was bleeding from my shoulder which alerted me to the fact that there was also lotion in front of me that was getting smeared on my body. I didn't like either of these things and started to think about them then there was a class room in front of me. I realized what was going on and tried to keep watching it. Thats all I wanted to do. I didn't want to control the dream. I just wanted to be there for it. Cars started wizzing by me. Something was wrong. I was still in bed and knew I couldn't dream like that. It must be that I'm stationary. I started to wiz by with the cars. I imagined me wizzing by with the cars. Didn't work, I was lying in bed imagining another Molly wiz by me. I tried to wiz. That also makes no sense. The class room started to reappear. Maybe If I created the world around me. I imagined myself on a beach. I imagined the room. The horizon. It was hard to image just that and not me imagining it too. Maybe I should try and fly? I had to make an animal to fly on. I tried to get on. Again I was imagining me imaging it. At this point I realized it would be impossible for my to just watch the dream because I would have to start being it and creating it at the same time. I realized I needed to make the world to take with me when I flew. I stated step by step. I was way too committed to it being unified to make it work. I wanted to get on the animal then it had to be a horse. I realized I needed to give up on the unity of my perceptions. My shoulder started itching in real life and I scratched it and there were a couple issues of squelch jammed between two dark areas in front of me. the other shoulder itched and there was a different image. Other cool images happened but then I fell asleep.

Before I woke up I was with Krystal in a really genuine interaction. The only thing wrong was that there was residue of taylor between us. I didn't mind that. I would stay faithful to her although she had left. Something about mushrooms. ???? from cloyne taking us on a bus into the city. Some one working on an art project. Me and krystal looking at this thing in front of us. She seemed to be seeing it and I was constantly comparing it to an image of it. She was mostly right but there was something small I could notice about the building differently. I woke up believing I was leaving the more basic state to return to the breakdown case. I thought that through and didn't believe it all the way.